KOK Edit: Your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM)
KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) Katharine O'Moore Klopf

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Learning to Let Go

Our tiny little granddaughter, Ana, visited our home for the first time tonight, bringing along her mommy and daddy. What a little angel she is, all soft and quiet and content just to be held, mostly by Mommy.

It is surprising to realize that I am not responsible for this little helpless bundle of need. When I hold her or look at her, I feel my mothering instincts kick in. After all, it was only about 5½ years ago when my youngest, Jared, was a baby, needing me every second. I must remember that Ana is Becky and Li's baby, that they will parent her just fine.

And they do. Tonight, she is just 6 days old, and already they are old hands at changing her diapers, burping her, knowing when she needs to breastfeed, knowing why she's fussing. I am not needed for anything but oohing and aahing, for holding Ana when Becky's ready to get all 6 feet of herself up from our deep, squishy, comfy couch. The sidecar crib they'd bought, so Ana could sleep right next to their bed, within reach? They don't use it; they've instinctively figured out that they and Ana get much more sleep when she sleeps with them in their bed.

It is time for me to let go of being a baby's mother. I am the mother of a grown woman, who is herself a mother. I am the mother of a elementary-school-age boy and a preteen boy who's just begun to notice girls. I am a grandmother. I can learn to step back a bit. I can learn to let go. My children will teach me how.



Unknown said...

Amazing how they do it, isn't it?

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

Yes, it is, Songbird. I think that someone with much more sense than parents programmed them that way. Quite helpful.

Anonymous said...

Ah, what a moment of self-discover you've had.

When I have children, I imagine my own mom won't be as..."able to step back a bit" as you have, haha.

Katharine O'Moore-Klopf said...

If your mom can't step back easily, Alicia, you'll get to be her teacher. Gently but firmly setting boundaries works quite well. My daughter has gotten quite good at this. :-)

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