KOK Edit: Your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM)
KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) Katharine O'Moore Klopf

Monday, April 10, 2006

There's Being Optimistic, and Then There's Being in Denial

You know, my father-in-law causes me to use the word argh (and a good many rude words) more often than anyone else does.

If you've been following his saga (see this and this), you'll know that A. has prostate cancer. He's now passed all of the tests required for him to have a prostatectomy; he just has to get an X-ray tomorrow. His doctor says that his bone scan shows that the cancer hasn't spread to his bones ... but he does have osteoporosis, which is why he's now bowlegged and has been getting shorter over the years.

Meanwhile, he's been continuing to look for part-time music gigs. He's a jazz-and-blues vocalist and pianist, and he's stuck in the '70s—which is ironic, because he'll turn 70 himself at the end of May. It's been harder and harder for him to get bookings over the years because hardly anybody wants to hear the stuff he plays anymore. But immediately after getting out of the VA hospital last week after being treated for an infection caused by a prostate biopsy, he managed to book a 9-month weekends-only gig at a local country club. His dermatologist, who loves music of all kinds, had used his contacts at the country club to get A. a tryout there.

I'm happy that A. is going to be doing what he enjoys most for the next 9 months, but he's so focused on the income it'll bring in that he's going to put on hold—for as long as a year—the knee-replacement surgery he was so desperate to have. It was because of all of the tests he had to undergo to be cleared for the knee replacement that his prostate cancer was found.

And today A's doctor says that his prostatectomy will be scheduled for Tuesday, April 18. Guess what he plans to do on the weekend just after the surgery? Perform at the country club on Saturday and at a private birthday party on Sunday. His doc said that he wouldn't advise A to do so.

I asked my mother-in-law, D., to tell A. that I said that he should get another musician to fill in for him that weekend or he'll pop his abdominal stitches from the prostatectomy when he moves his keyboard and sound equipment in and out of the country club and restaurant, and that he'd not make a good impression having to be taken away from a gig in an ambulance.

But I'm betting that even that image won't sway A.

Argh! #^$@(*!

Updated 10:35 p.m.: Well, I don't know what changed A's mind, but the good news is that he's not going to be working next weekend after his prostatectomy. Thank goodness!

sandwich generation in-laws intergenerational prostate cancer Veterans Affairs EditorMom


erinberry said...

It's good that he'll allow himself a bit of recovery time. How great that he has a hobby/job he loves so much!

karen97 said...

Seems like it all turned out well, Katharine, but, ooohh, sometimes don't we just wonder why people don't think like us?

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