An update about the bullying of my first-grader, Jared, on the school bus:
Friday (26 October) morning, Jared's teacher, Mr. D, talked with the assistant principal, Ms. E. The two adults pulled Jared and "Joe," the other boy, out of class briefly to hear both sides. Jared confirmed what was happening, but being reluctant to get Joe in trouble—because he likes Joe when Joe isn't hitting him—he said that the bullying had happened only recently, instead of since September.
That afternoon, both the teacher and Ms. E called me. Ms. E told me what Jared had said, and I told her that no, the bullying had been going on all school year. She called Joe's parents and spoke with them, stipulating that if Joe hit, poked, or tripped anyone on the bus, he would no longer be allowed to ride the bus; his parents would be required to drive him to school.
My husband Ed spoke with Joe's parents face-to-face Sunday, and it went well. (Ms. E had warned me, however, that in her experience, nearly all parents react defensively in these situations, even more so when speaking with the parents of the alleged victim than with school officials.) The parents promised to have a long talk with Joe about not hitting Jared or anyone else. Joe's older brother, "Tim," volunteered to his parents that he had seen Joe pick on Jared several times earlier in the school year. (Tim himself has been a victim of a school-bus bully in the past; instead of talking with the bullying child's parents or with the school, Joe and Tim's parents simply stopped letting Tim ride the bus and started driving him to school.) Ed says that the entire conversation was calm and not defensive or accusatory. We felt that because Ed had befriended Joe's father through past walks in the neighborhood, he should talk with him in addition to Ms. E calling the parents; we didn't want to put the entire burden on the school to handle the situation. Plus, we like to set an example for our children about speaking up for oneself civilly.
This week on the bus, Joe has not hit, poked, or yanked on Jared until Jared fell off the seat. Jared is happy and is now pleasant, rather than growly, when he gets off the school bus in the afternoons.
Jared did admit to us that he hit Joe back once in the past after Joe hit him. We explained to him that hitting someone won't stop the other person from hitting, that we do not approve of his hitting anyone, that the proper response to being hit is to ask the other person to stop and then to tell the bus driver (if applicable) and his teacher, and that if he does hit back, that will likely be the time that the bus driver/teacher turns around and sees what is going, thus landing Jared in trouble.
Jared is very grateful ("because Mr. D sticks up for kids"), and so are Ed and I. We have e-mailed Mr. D, with a copy to Ms. E, to tell him so.
Updated at 2:31 p.m.: As soon as Ed and I found out about the bullying, I had a very strong urge to find a way to ride the school bus with Jared and put a force field of protection around him just by virtue of my being there and being identified as his mother. Not that my being on the bus would be allowed, mind you.
Jared's being bullied pushes so many buttons for Ed and me. We were both misfits, in different ways, as children in public schools, he here on Long Island and me in Texas, and we were both bullied in school. And I was bullied by my parents, as were my siblings. Ed and I are determined to stop the cycle of violence, at least for our family. We'd like to stop it for others too.
bullying bully school school bus Three Village School District Jared parenting EditorMom
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Anecdotal Evidence Regarding the Persistence of Capsaicin
I can confirm that it is a very bad idea to touch delicate bodily membranes, such as those contained in human eyes and noses, within 24 hours of dicing jalapenos or chili peppers of any kind.
I ordered some chili peppers with the last batch of groceries, wanting to include small bits of them in my daily huge plate of salad. They're quite tasty additions. But know that even two surgical-style scrubbings of the hands after chopping chili peppers does not completely erase the capsaicin, the "heat"-producing substance in them, from the fingers. And know that until the capsaicin dissipates a couple of days later, you should touch neither the caruncula lachrymalis nor the nostrils.
Eeee-yowwww!
food jalapenos capsaicin pain EditorMom
I ordered some chili peppers with the last batch of groceries, wanting to include small bits of them in my daily huge plate of salad. They're quite tasty additions. But know that even two surgical-style scrubbings of the hands after chopping chili peppers does not completely erase the capsaicin, the "heat"-producing substance in them, from the fingers. And know that until the capsaicin dissipates a couple of days later, you should touch neither the caruncula lachrymalis nor the nostrils.
Eeee-yowwww!
food jalapenos capsaicin pain EditorMom
Breastfeeding Does Not Cause Breasts to Sag
If you've ever thought that once you give birth, you won't want to breastfeed because it will make your breasts sag, physicians have news for you: Breastfeeding does not cause sagging breasts!
At the 2007 conference of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, results of a recent study were reported:
I can't wait till researchers prove that bra-wearing doesn't prevent sagging. I wore bras for decades, and they did nothing to prevent sagging. Trust me—I'm middle-aged and large-breasted. Enough said.
And I hope mainstream researchers soon prove what I've long suspected: that bra-wearing may cause cancer. I read the book Dressed To Kill: The Link between Breast Cancer and Bras a few years ago, and though the researchers who wrote it have not found acceptance of their findings by mainstream medicine, what they found sure makes sense to me—enough to make me stop routinely wearing bras. But that's another post.
One less excuse for feeding babies formula! Hooray!
Hat tip: Katie Allison Granju.
breastfeeding sagging breasts genetics medical research American Society of Plastic Surgeons EditorMom
At the 2007 conference of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, results of a recent study were reported:
... breastfeeding alone has no impact on a woman's breast shape, according to a first-of-its-kind study. ...It's genetics, ladies, not breastfeeding, that determines how much your breasts will sag.
"Many women who come in for breast surgery tell us their breasts are sagging, drooping or are less full because they breastfed," said Brian Rinker, MD, ASPS Member Surgeon and study author. "Although the amount of sagging in the breasts appears to increase with each pregnancy, we've found that breastfeeding does not worsen the effect."
The study examined 93 women who were pregnant one or more times prior to having cosmetic breast surgery. Fifty-eight percent of patients reported breastfeeding one or more of their children. The duration of breastfeeding ranged from 2 to 25 months, with an average of nine months. Fifty-five percent of respondents reported an adverse change in the shape of their breasts following pregnancy.
As the first study to examine what impacts breast shape in connection to pregnancy, plastic surgeons found that a history of breastfeeding, the number of children breastfed, the duration of each child's breastfeeding, or the amount of weight gained during pregnancy were not significant predictors for losing breast shape. However, body mass index (BMI), the number of pregnancies, a larger pre-pregnancy bra size, smoking history, and age were significant risk factors for an increased degree of breast sagging.
I can't wait till researchers prove that bra-wearing doesn't prevent sagging. I wore bras for decades, and they did nothing to prevent sagging. Trust me—I'm middle-aged and large-breasted. Enough said.
And I hope mainstream researchers soon prove what I've long suspected: that bra-wearing may cause cancer. I read the book Dressed To Kill: The Link between Breast Cancer and Bras a few years ago, and though the researchers who wrote it have not found acceptance of their findings by mainstream medicine, what they found sure makes sense to me—enough to make me stop routinely wearing bras. But that's another post.
One less excuse for feeding babies formula! Hooray!
Hat tip: Katie Allison Granju.
breastfeeding sagging breasts genetics medical research American Society of Plastic Surgeons EditorMom
Friday, October 26, 2007
I Am Mother, Hear Me Roar
Our 6-year-old first-grader, Jared, told us last night that he has been being bullied on his school bus for some time now.A boy I'll call Joe, whom Jared says is a first-grader, has been tripping Jared, flicking him with his fingers, and hitting him in the chest. Jared has a lump near his temple because, he says, Joe grabbed Jared's legs on yesterday's ride home, which made Jared fall onto the bus floor between the seats and hit his head on the metal back of a bus seat. Jared says the leg-grabbing happens quite often. He says that occasionally, the bus driver sees what's going on and tells Joe to stop but that Joe just starts up again when the bus driver doesn't see him.
My husband, Ed, remembered that Mr. D., Jared's teacher, said at the school open house that he detests bullying and will do anything he has to to put a stop to it, and he wanted parents to let him know if their children are being bullied. So I e-mailed Mr. D. this morning and asked for his help. I mentioned that Ed and I would like to see two adults be paid to ride every full-size school bus to keep the children safe and to make driving safer for the bus drivers. He responded immediately:
I am on the case. Would you like me to inform the assistant principal? She will be right on top of this. She is wonderful with the bus situations.
I also e-mailed the chairperson of the safety committee of the school's PTA (Parent Teacher Association). She wrote back:
I am sorry to hear your son is having a hard time. I highly recommend that you immediately contact [the principal] or [the assistant principal] yourselves. I know that they take the matter of bullying very seriously, and would want to hear from you.
As far as your proposal for aides to ride the buses, I am sad to say that in our current budget climate, this is not at all likely to happen. Programs and instructional staff are being cut left and right. I do not think a PTA meeting is the right forum for your concerns. I urge you to call the principals about this, as it is really, really beyond the scope of the PTA's safety committee. We are asked only to provide support on school grounds for snow days, early dismissals, concerts, etc.
Not the right forum?! I'm sure that if it was her child having his head banged into the bus seat, she'd think that the PTA was the proper forum. I think I feel an urge to attend a school board meeting coming on.
Updated 31 October, 2007
bullying bully school school bus Three Village School District Jared parenting EditorMom
Updated 31 October, 2007
bullying bully school school bus Three Village School District Jared parenting EditorMom
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Ana's First Trip to the Pumpkin Patch
My husband and our sons Neil and Jared and our 5-month-old granddaughter, Ana (Anastasia), are back from the periodic neighborhood trip to a local farm for picking pumpkins. Ed says Ana is one easy baby. I know he's right; I had her all to myself one day when Ed, the boys, and our son-in-law, Li, went fishing on our boat. (Click on any thumbnail to see a larger version.)
P.S. Those aren't tears of sadness coming out of Ana's one eye in the top photo. She has a immature tear duct, which her pediatrician says should eventually stop leaking on its own.
grandfather Ed granddaughter Anastasia pumpkins Halloween Jared Neil EditorMom
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P.S. Those aren't tears of sadness coming out of Ana's one eye in the top photo. She has a immature tear duct, which her pediatrician says should eventually stop leaking on its own.
grandfather Ed granddaughter Anastasia pumpkins Halloween Jared Neil EditorMom
The Good Grandfather
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While I'm working today, my husband, Ed, and our sons will go pumpkin-picking at a nearby farm, and they'll take Ana (Anastasia), our granddaughter, with them. Our daughter, Becky, and her husband, Li, dropped Ana off at 9 this morning because one of Li's cousins is having an early-morning wedding. Of course, just an hour before it was time for Ed and the kids to go to our next-door-neighbor's house to catch the bus for the neighborhood pumpkin-picking trip, Ana got sleepy and hungry. Here are two adorable (if poor-quality) photos of Ed rocking Ana and feeding her breast milk that Becky had pumped and of Ana asleep after eating. She's out like a light right now.
grandfather Ed granddaughter Anastasia breast milk rocking chair EditorMom
grandfather Ed granddaughter Anastasia breast milk rocking chair EditorMom
Friday, October 19, 2007
Actual Good News About Health Insurance
Here's a happy-Friday update to all of the ridiculousness that my husband Ed and I have had to go through to have health insurance coverage.
Ed spoke directly with the New York State Insurance Department. Yes, it is legal for an insurance company to immediately cut off employee coverage as of the date that the employer specifies as the employee's last day of work. Because my husband's former employer wanted to cover us through 31 October even though Ed's last day there was October 4, the boss assumed that COBRA was the way to go and so told the insurance company that Ed's last day was 4 October and had Ed file for COBRA. But COBRA doesn't apply, even with New York's special exceptions, when there is only 1 employee in a company covered by the insurance company in question. So even though I would like to avoid giving HIP (the HMO) any credit (because they usually mess things up to our disadvantage), what they did was correct in this instance.
But Ed's boss shouldn't have assumed and should have asked the insurance agent who handles all the policies he offers his employees to check into this special case. The insurance agent was asleep at the wheel, too; if she'd taken 5 seconds to look into her files, she'd have foreseen a problem and alerted Ed's former boss.
The good news is that the boss has now filed paperwork saying that oops, he meant to put down Ed's last day at work as being 31 October, so we are now covered again temporarily. The mail-order prescription medication service that the HMO requires us to use, however, still has to put us back in the system so that we can order all the maintenance medications that we need to right now.
More good news: As soon as we get the official paperwork in the mail from the State of New York showing that we are indeed incorporated—and as soon as we obtain an EIN (employer identification number, aka taxpayer number) from the IRS, which our accountant can get for us within 1 day of requesting it—we can obtain the same exact insurance plan, so we won't have to change physicians. And the monthly premiums that we will pay will be just about exactly the same that Ed had had taken out of his paycheck as an employee.
He is now well on the road to being fully self-employed; he's already produced estimates on two projects and is the subcontractor of choice for a third, even though he hasn't yet bid on it; it's a refinishing job that he needs to see in person first. He's in demand, so we will do okay financially. The wood shop has just about been completely cleaned out, along with the barn where he does lacquer-spraying and three—yes, three—attics. His parents, who share our home, have managed not to spontaneously combust over having to get rid of some of their junk. Ed and I have adjusted to each other's work styles, and our almost-13-year-old son has adjusted to his dad's schedule. The only one who's still working on adjusting is our 6-year-old son, who wants to glom Daddy's time the instant that he (the son) gets off the afternoon school bus.
health care insurance employment HIP HMO COBRA EditorMom
Ed spoke directly with the New York State Insurance Department. Yes, it is legal for an insurance company to immediately cut off employee coverage as of the date that the employer specifies as the employee's last day of work. Because my husband's former employer wanted to cover us through 31 October even though Ed's last day there was October 4, the boss assumed that COBRA was the way to go and so told the insurance company that Ed's last day was 4 October and had Ed file for COBRA. But COBRA doesn't apply, even with New York's special exceptions, when there is only 1 employee in a company covered by the insurance company in question. So even though I would like to avoid giving HIP (the HMO) any credit (because they usually mess things up to our disadvantage), what they did was correct in this instance.
But Ed's boss shouldn't have assumed and should have asked the insurance agent who handles all the policies he offers his employees to check into this special case. The insurance agent was asleep at the wheel, too; if she'd taken 5 seconds to look into her files, she'd have foreseen a problem and alerted Ed's former boss.
The good news is that the boss has now filed paperwork saying that oops, he meant to put down Ed's last day at work as being 31 October, so we are now covered again temporarily. The mail-order prescription medication service that the HMO requires us to use, however, still has to put us back in the system so that we can order all the maintenance medications that we need to right now.
More good news: As soon as we get the official paperwork in the mail from the State of New York showing that we are indeed incorporated—and as soon as we obtain an EIN (employer identification number, aka taxpayer number) from the IRS, which our accountant can get for us within 1 day of requesting it—we can obtain the same exact insurance plan, so we won't have to change physicians. And the monthly premiums that we will pay will be just about exactly the same that Ed had had taken out of his paycheck as an employee.
He is now well on the road to being fully self-employed; he's already produced estimates on two projects and is the subcontractor of choice for a third, even though he hasn't yet bid on it; it's a refinishing job that he needs to see in person first. He's in demand, so we will do okay financially. The wood shop has just about been completely cleaned out, along with the barn where he does lacquer-spraying and three—yes, three—attics. His parents, who share our home, have managed not to spontaneously combust over having to get rid of some of their junk. Ed and I have adjusted to each other's work styles, and our almost-13-year-old son has adjusted to his dad's schedule. The only one who's still working on adjusting is our 6-year-old son, who wants to glom Daddy's time the instant that he (the son) gets off the afternoon school bus.
health care insurance employment HIP HMO COBRA EditorMom
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Keeping an HMO Honest
One of the agencies I e-mailed about the health-care insurance problem that my laid-off husband and I have encountered is the New York State Insurance Department. I e-mailed the department pretty much the same thing I posted here on Monday. I got this response today:
health care insurance employment HIP HMO COBRA EditorMom
In order for the carrier to terminate a member, the request has to come from the employer. We have forwarded your e-mail to our contact at HIP [the HMO through which we had insurance] to address.This is excellent, because my husband's former boss did not request that he be "terminated." (Sounds murderous, doesn't it?) Now HIP knows that the New York State knows what it did. [insert evil cackle here]
health care insurance employment HIP HMO COBRA EditorMom
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
About That Health Insurance Snafu ...
I just realized something that cheers me up tremendously.
My husband's former boss gave him 4 weeks' severance pay—and deducted from it, as usual, 1 month's health-care insurance premium. The boss told Ed yesterday that he's trying to find a way to get Ed (and our whole family) coverage through the end of the month under the same policy, even without stupid old COBRA. But even if he can't, he'll owe Ed the premium amount because we haven't had coverage since October 5! So we should have funds shortly for the first month's premium for whatever new policy we can get through our own new little corporation of 2 employees—Ed and me. Yay!
health care insurance employment COBRA EditorMom
My husband's former boss gave him 4 weeks' severance pay—and deducted from it, as usual, 1 month's health-care insurance premium. The boss told Ed yesterday that he's trying to find a way to get Ed (and our whole family) coverage through the end of the month under the same policy, even without stupid old COBRA. But even if he can't, he'll owe Ed the premium amount because we haven't had coverage since October 5! So we should have funds shortly for the first month's premium for whatever new policy we can get through our own new little corporation of 2 employees—Ed and me. Yay!
health care insurance employment COBRA EditorMom
Monday, October 15, 2007
Why Tying Health-Care Coverage to Employment Is Stupid
Grrrrrrr! I have steam coming out of my ears and feel strong enough to best a sumo wrestler just now.
I've posted about my husband's being laid off from a tiny cabinetmaking firm and getting ready for self-employment. As soon as we found out that he was going to be laid off, we took every step we could to ensure continuing health-care insurance coverage. He signed the paperwork indicating that he wanted our policy to continue under COBRA.
We've heard from our attorney that our incorporation paperwork for Ed's new company, Master Cabinetworks, Inc., has been duly filed and that his company officially exists in the state of New York now, but we haven't yet received our copy of the paperwork so that we can trot to the bank and get a business loan, which will cover, among many other things, the first month's premium of whatever health-insurance policy we can get for Ed's company. Meanwhile, Ed's former boss had promised that he would cover 1 month of insurance premiums for us, from October 5 to November 5, after Ed's layoff.
This morning, I blithely tried to log in to the web site of the mail-order company through which our erstwhile policy requires us to obtain maintenance medications, and I was locked out. Headed over to the insurance company's web site to log in, got locked out there too. Our coverage has been canceled! We didn't even get any notice, and neither did Ed's former employer. As of this moment, we're completely without health-care and medication coverage. Three of four of the still-at-home members of our family take maintenance (long-term) medications that are incredibly expensive without insurance coverage. Right now, we need to order refills of one of the drugs and send in new prescriptions for several others.
Ed made some phone calls to see what is going on. It appears that Ed was the only employee to be covered by the policy we had, so if no other employees at the company are covered under the policy, the insurer isn't required to continue the plan through COBRA. And the employer's secretary-bookkeeper didn't know that when she gave Ed the COBRA continuation forms to complete. But we still should've been given some notice by the insurer.
Situations like this are exactly why health-care insurance should not be tied to employment. It's a damn good thing that I'm eating right and exercising, because that's apparently the only health care I'm going to be able to afford for a bit. If you hear a loud explosion, that'll be me going kaboom once my blood-pressure meds run out.
health care insurance employment COBRA EditorMom
I've posted about my husband's being laid off from a tiny cabinetmaking firm and getting ready for self-employment. As soon as we found out that he was going to be laid off, we took every step we could to ensure continuing health-care insurance coverage. He signed the paperwork indicating that he wanted our policy to continue under COBRA.
We've heard from our attorney that our incorporation paperwork for Ed's new company, Master Cabinetworks, Inc., has been duly filed and that his company officially exists in the state of New York now, but we haven't yet received our copy of the paperwork so that we can trot to the bank and get a business loan, which will cover, among many other things, the first month's premium of whatever health-insurance policy we can get for Ed's company. Meanwhile, Ed's former boss had promised that he would cover 1 month of insurance premiums for us, from October 5 to November 5, after Ed's layoff.
This morning, I blithely tried to log in to the web site of the mail-order company through which our erstwhile policy requires us to obtain maintenance medications, and I was locked out. Headed over to the insurance company's web site to log in, got locked out there too. Our coverage has been canceled! We didn't even get any notice, and neither did Ed's former employer. As of this moment, we're completely without health-care and medication coverage. Three of four of the still-at-home members of our family take maintenance (long-term) medications that are incredibly expensive without insurance coverage. Right now, we need to order refills of one of the drugs and send in new prescriptions for several others.
Ed made some phone calls to see what is going on. It appears that Ed was the only employee to be covered by the policy we had, so if no other employees at the company are covered under the policy, the insurer isn't required to continue the plan through COBRA. And the employer's secretary-bookkeeper didn't know that when she gave Ed the COBRA continuation forms to complete. But we still should've been given some notice by the insurer.
Situations like this are exactly why health-care insurance should not be tied to employment. It's a damn good thing that I'm eating right and exercising, because that's apparently the only health care I'm going to be able to afford for a bit. If you hear a loud explosion, that'll be me going kaboom once my blood-pressure meds run out.
health care insurance employment COBRA EditorMom
Monday, October 08, 2007
A 19-Year-Old Soldier
Just got word from my sister that my 19-year-old nephew, Jordan, who is in the U.S. Marine Reserves, is now in Iraq. He just recently married, but he's just a baby. He signed up with the reserves to make his mother proud. I can only hope that he eventually comes home alive and not physically or mentally wounded. I would very much appreciate your good thoughts or prayers on his behalf.
Iraq war Marine Corps Reserves nephew cannon fodder EditorMom
Iraq war Marine Corps Reserves nephew cannon fodder EditorMom
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Sparse Blogging These Days
While I'm helping my husband finish the setup of his own company and while I'm in the middle of editing two medical textbooks at once, I'm going to be rather quiet here. I simply don't have any spare time or much spare brain power. I'll pop in here as often as I can.
cabinetmaker subcontractor self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing EditorMom
cabinetmaker subcontractor self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing EditorMom
Friday, September 28, 2007
Two-Freelancer Home: Update
Here's an update about my husband's progress toward self-employment:
Today was supposed to have been Ed's last day as an employee, but the very small cabinetmaking company needs him for one more week. Today, he has the task of helping get the last of the equipment out of the company's old wood shop; he text-messaged me that he's feeling sad about this because it's the end of 14 years of working in that shop. But later today, he will be allowed to use the company truck and load it up with as many pieces of equipment that he wants and can fit in it and bring them here to our wood shop. His boss (the owner) will be giving him some pieces—free!—and charging him less than market value for the others. This will help tremendously with Ed's startup costs.
Our graphic-artist friend has created a logo for Ed; you can see it at the temporary home page of his web site. She's also designed his business cards, which will be printed shortly. The talented woman who did my business web site will do Ed's, so it will look sharp. I've set up a CaféPress shop for him; we've ordered T-shirts for him to have ready to work in, and whenever he does a project for a new client, he'll give the client shirts or coffee mugs or whatever.
He already has projects waiting for him to be self-employed. The first week that he's on his own, he'll also be combing through our wood shop to get rid of nonshop stuff that's been stored there over the years, mostly by his parents, who live with us. We'll have to rent a Dumpster for this.
We're waiting on our attorney to get the incorporation papers filed so that Ed can purchase insurance and a workers' comp policy. And this weekend, we'll complete the list of startup expenses so that we (I'll likely be the vice president) can get a bank loan to cover them. He can't wait to be self-employed!
layoff cabinetmaker subcontractor self-employed freelancer EditorMom
Today was supposed to have been Ed's last day as an employee, but the very small cabinetmaking company needs him for one more week. Today, he has the task of helping get the last of the equipment out of the company's old wood shop; he text-messaged me that he's feeling sad about this because it's the end of 14 years of working in that shop. But later today, he will be allowed to use the company truck and load it up with as many pieces of equipment that he wants and can fit in it and bring them here to our wood shop. His boss (the owner) will be giving him some pieces—free!—and charging him less than market value for the others. This will help tremendously with Ed's startup costs.
Our graphic-artist friend has created a logo for Ed; you can see it at the temporary home page of his web site. She's also designed his business cards, which will be printed shortly. The talented woman who did my business web site will do Ed's, so it will look sharp. I've set up a CaféPress shop for him; we've ordered T-shirts for him to have ready to work in, and whenever he does a project for a new client, he'll give the client shirts or coffee mugs or whatever.
He already has projects waiting for him to be self-employed. The first week that he's on his own, he'll also be combing through our wood shop to get rid of nonshop stuff that's been stored there over the years, mostly by his parents, who live with us. We'll have to rent a Dumpster for this.
We're waiting on our attorney to get the incorporation papers filed so that Ed can purchase insurance and a workers' comp policy. And this weekend, we'll complete the list of startup expenses so that we (I'll likely be the vice president) can get a bank loan to cover them. He can't wait to be self-employed!
layoff cabinetmaker subcontractor self-employed freelancer EditorMom
Genes Can Really Mess Things Up
It’s a little gray outside today. It matches my melancholy.
Becky, my sweet daughter, sent me a text message at about 10 last night: “R U up?” I e-mailed back, “I R. What up?” Thirty seconds or so later, my phone rang. She had bad news: Her father, my ex-husband, had just called to tell her that he needs a kidney transplant within the next 18 months or he will die. He is just 49. He has a wife and two other daughters; the girls are about the ages of my two sons, who are 6 and almost 13. I imagine they're rather worried right now.
He has polycystic kidney disease (PKD), just like his sweet mother, Kate, who died at 71 because of it on May 25. On top of that, he has had rheumatoid arthritis since childhood. PKD is an insidious disease in which multiple fluid-filled cysts grow on the kidneys and slowly replace much of the kidneys’ mass, decreasing kidney function more and more until the kidneys shut down. Often, people who have PKD develop high blood pressure because their kidney function is reduced even before any cysts appear on their kidneys. My ex has had high blood pressure for years. He hasn’t talked with me about his situation, but from what I’ve read, if his physician is talking transplantation, his kidneys must be in poor enough shape that dialysis won’t help him. If a matching kidney donor can be found, the new kidney or kidneys won’t develop cysts.
Though I wish him no misfortune and don’t want him to die, what saddens me is the thought that because Becky is so much like him physically—down to the location of her rheumatoid nodules—it’s very possible that she will face PKD one day. Because her father has it, she has a 50% chance of having it. I’m talking about a 24-year-old woman who’s just become a mother, hasn’t been married very long, recently earned a master’s degree, and is looking for her first professional job. She already has plenty of pain from her rheumatoid arthritis; she doesn’t need anything more on top of it.
ex-husband Kate mother-in-law mother daughter Becky polycystic kidney disease kidney transplant EditorMom
Becky, my sweet daughter, sent me a text message at about 10 last night: “R U up?” I e-mailed back, “I R. What up?” Thirty seconds or so later, my phone rang. She had bad news: Her father, my ex-husband, had just called to tell her that he needs a kidney transplant within the next 18 months or he will die. He is just 49. He has a wife and two other daughters; the girls are about the ages of my two sons, who are 6 and almost 13. I imagine they're rather worried right now.
He has polycystic kidney disease (PKD), just like his sweet mother, Kate, who died at 71 because of it on May 25. On top of that, he has had rheumatoid arthritis since childhood. PKD is an insidious disease in which multiple fluid-filled cysts grow on the kidneys and slowly replace much of the kidneys’ mass, decreasing kidney function more and more until the kidneys shut down. Often, people who have PKD develop high blood pressure because their kidney function is reduced even before any cysts appear on their kidneys. My ex has had high blood pressure for years. He hasn’t talked with me about his situation, but from what I’ve read, if his physician is talking transplantation, his kidneys must be in poor enough shape that dialysis won’t help him. If a matching kidney donor can be found, the new kidney or kidneys won’t develop cysts.
Though I wish him no misfortune and don’t want him to die, what saddens me is the thought that because Becky is so much like him physically—down to the location of her rheumatoid nodules—it’s very possible that she will face PKD one day. Because her father has it, she has a 50% chance of having it. I’m talking about a 24-year-old woman who’s just become a mother, hasn’t been married very long, recently earned a master’s degree, and is looking for her first professional job. She already has plenty of pain from her rheumatoid arthritis; she doesn’t need anything more on top of it.
ex-husband Kate mother-in-law mother daughter Becky polycystic kidney disease kidney transplant EditorMom
Monday, September 24, 2007
Deadline and Sick Kids
Yikes! There's nothing like a do-or-die deadline on a day when I have two kids home from school with the first virus of the academic year—with raw throats, aches all over, and over-the-top nose-blowing—for creating a little stress.
self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing deadline parenting EditorMom
self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing deadline parenting EditorMom
Friday, September 21, 2007
The Courage to Change One's Mind
I am astounded: A prominent American politican has had the courage to search his soul, change his mind, and explain why publicly without dissembling.
Wednesday, Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders announced that he would sign the city's amicus brief asking his state's highest court to reverse a ban on same-sex marriage. He had long said that he supported only civil unions. He held a press conference to explain his new stance.
Watch it—it's very powerful—and be inspired.
Hat tip to Straight, Not Narrow.
gay rights GLBT LGBT human rights same-sex marriage San Diego Jerry Sanders EditorMom
Wednesday, Republican San Diego Mayor Jerry Sanders announced that he would sign the city's amicus brief asking his state's highest court to reverse a ban on same-sex marriage. He had long said that he supported only civil unions. He held a press conference to explain his new stance.
Watch it—it's very powerful—and be inspired.
Hat tip to Straight, Not Narrow.
gay rights GLBT LGBT human rights same-sex marriage San Diego Jerry Sanders EditorMom
A Client I Can Do Without
Yowza! Just got an e-mail out of the blue from a project manager for a book packager that apparently does work for huge publishers; she wanted to know whether I was interested in editing a 780-page medical book manuscript (250 words per page, as is the industry standard); her budget for the project is $1,849. That's a measly $2.37 per page! Cheap, cheap, cheap.
(If you're not in the publishing industry, you'll want to know this: Depending on how much editing a medical manuscript needs, I might work at anywhere between 4 and 7 pages per hour. If I did 4 pages/hour, I'd be earning the equivalent of only about $9.50/hour for working on that packager's book. If I did 7 pages/hour, I'd get about $16.50/hour. Neither of those hourly rates is anywhere near appropriate for a professional editor in 2007.)
And her message was addressed to a few other copyeditors too. I know because she put everyone's e-mail address in the CC line rather than the BCC line, which is unprofessional when you're hunting for an independent contractor. My response:
I BCC'd the other copyeditors. I'm hoping none of them is so new to the business that they think $2.37/page is good. Just heard back from one of them. Her response? An enthusiastic "What you said!"
Editing requires many more skills, and thus costs much more than the minimum wage, than does flipping burgers. And medical editing requires yet more skills.
No, thank you, Ms. X. Your offer's an insult. I've never worked with you before, and I don't want to start. Not even a greenhorn editor should be paid that little.
self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing book packager cheap EditorMom
(If you're not in the publishing industry, you'll want to know this: Depending on how much editing a medical manuscript needs, I might work at anywhere between 4 and 7 pages per hour. If I did 4 pages/hour, I'd be earning the equivalent of only about $9.50/hour for working on that packager's book. If I did 7 pages/hour, I'd get about $16.50/hour. Neither of those hourly rates is anywhere near appropriate for a professional editor in 2007.)
And her message was addressed to a few other copyeditors too. I know because she put everyone's e-mail address in the CC line rather than the BCC line, which is unprofessional when you're hunting for an independent contractor. My response:
Thank you for your interest in my editing services.
However, I will have to decline taking on [the project]. The budget for the book works out to only $2.37 per 250-word page, a rate well below what most medical copyeditors charge. I have nearly 24 years' experience, and for light editing, I might charge a total project fee of [many times over $1,849] for 780 manuscript pages.
If you should have projects with budgets closer to industry standards, I would be happy to discuss them with you.
I BCC'd the other copyeditors. I'm hoping none of them is so new to the business that they think $2.37/page is good. Just heard back from one of them. Her response? An enthusiastic "What you said!"
Editing requires many more skills, and thus costs much more than the minimum wage, than does flipping burgers. And medical editing requires yet more skills.
No, thank you, Ms. X. Your offer's an insult. I've never worked with you before, and I don't want to start. Not even a greenhorn editor should be paid that little.
self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing book packager cheap EditorMom
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Too Much Computer Time
You know you've been on your computer for too long when you notice a fly atop your screen and reach for the mouse so that you can remove the fly by clicking it.computer overwork EditorMom
Get That Chip Off (or Out of) Your Shoulder
People with diabetes and others with dementia have had radio frequency identification (RFID) chips implanted because their physicians told them that the chips could save their lives by letting physicians scan the chips to have instant access to their medical records. And lots of animal shelters won't let you adopt a dog or cat with getting the animal chipped, so that if the animal is lost or stolen, it can be traced.But guess what? The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved their use in 2005 even though there were studies as far back as 1996 showing that the tiny chips cause cancer.
Why? Because the pervasive Bushco corruption was in play. The studies with frightening findings supposedly weren't presented to the FDA. This story implicates Tommy Thompson, former secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) when the FDA, which is overseen by HHS, approved the use of the VeriChip microchip:
Two weeks after the device's approval took effect on Jan. 10, 2005, Thompson left his Cabinet post, and within five months was a board member of VeriChip Corp. and Applied Digital Solutions. He was compensated in cash and stock options.
Because I'm a medical copyeditor, I've always thought that implantation of any foreign body into humans or animals should be avoided unless absolutely necessary, so I've never wanted to have my cats chipped.
Unfortunately, my in-laws have had their dog chipped. They won't be happy to find out about this newly exposed research when they get back from vacation in about a week.
Bush corruption Tommy Thompson HHS FDA VeriChip RFID chip EditorMom
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Multitasking Madwoman
I'm still alive.
I haven't posted much in the last few days because I'm on deadline with a novel I'm editing, so I can clear my desk for two incoming medical-book manuscripts that I'll be working on simultaneously, and I've been busy operating as an unpaid vice president of my husband's new company, Master Cabinetry. (I'll be paid once his company starts bringing in money.)
Yes, I know his web site isn't glamorous, but it will be: I've arranged for a great graphic artist to design a professional-looking logo within the next couple of weeks, and the same talented woman who did my business web site will create a wonderful one for him. But we're in a hurry to have something up because though he won't officially be laid off for at least another week and a half, he already has subcontracting project offers coming in. We'll also be ordering magnetic business signs for the sides and back of our minivan.
Other things I've been doing are arranging for our accountant to set Ed's company up as an S corporation and making a list of some of the things Ed has to do, which he's been checking off bit by bit:
Yeah, I'm just a little busy these days.
layoff cabinetmaker job hunting subcontractor sole proprietor self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing EditorMom
I haven't posted much in the last few days because I'm on deadline with a novel I'm editing, so I can clear my desk for two incoming medical-book manuscripts that I'll be working on simultaneously, and I've been busy operating as an unpaid vice president of my husband's new company, Master Cabinetry. (I'll be paid once his company starts bringing in money.)
Yes, I know his web site isn't glamorous, but it will be: I've arranged for a great graphic artist to design a professional-looking logo within the next couple of weeks, and the same talented woman who did my business web site will create a wonderful one for him. But we're in a hurry to have something up because though he won't officially be laid off for at least another week and a half, he already has subcontracting project offers coming in. We'll also be ordering magnetic business signs for the sides and back of our minivan.
Other things I've been doing are arranging for our accountant to set Ed's company up as an S corporation and making a list of some of the things Ed has to do, which he's been checking off bit by bit:
- Looking into COBRA in case incorporating takes longer than we want; we can't go without health insurance
- Finding an agent through which he can get worker's comp insurance
- Finding out where to go to get his county home-improvement license
- Researching what hourly rates he can charge
- Compiling a list of suppliers
- Compiling a mailing list of contractors he could do work for, so that we can mail them brochures and business cards
Yeah, I'm just a little busy these days.
layoff cabinetmaker job hunting subcontractor sole proprietor self-employed freelancer copyeditor copyediting editor editing publishing EditorMom
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