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KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) KOK Edit: your favorite copyeditor since 1984(SM) Katharine O'Moore Klopf
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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Writing Discrimination into the Constitution

Says a hetero friend who has friends who aren't:

The sanctity of marriage is not threatened by the 2 percent or so of the population that is gay. The sanctity of marriage is threatened by the 40 percent of married couples who divorce. To preserve the sanctity of marriage, we need a constitutional amendment banning divorce. It should also outlaw adultery, even among the separated. And, to encourage marriage, premarital hanky-panky should be outlawed. [Then we will] have defended sanctity of marriage.

For those who choose not to live together, in the past the main wage earner paid support to the other party. This would continue, but on a more equitable basis. The recipient of the support payments should, in fairness, provide some service back to the other party. Perhaps housework, perhaps yard work, perhaps hanky-panky.

Once we solve this major threat to the sanctity of marriage, then it may be appropriate to examine what ill effects gay marriage would have on the institution.

My friend’s a retired military officer who has just 847 days to go before he retires from his civilian job. See, GWB? It’s not just us middle-aged hippie-wannabe rabid liberals or young adults like my daughter who think it would be a crime to write discrimination into the Constitution.

Besides, you’ve sullied the Constitution enough. Get your damn hands off it!




2 comments:

The Fat Lady Sings said...

I'm with you, my friend. Did you by and chance read Pissed off Patricia's satirical rant about this over at Morning Martini (http://morning-martini.blogspot.com/2006/06/preparing-for-worst.html)? She looks at the silly idea that hetero married’s should be somehow threatened by gay married’s. Very funny stuff!

Katharine said...

Thanks for that link, FLS. Hilarious!

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